Clare

I feel great today.
Yesterday I worked on a wedding - a real celebration of 2 peoples love for each other.
I was Clare for a whole day and night. Not a mother or a wife.
It was hard in the morning to leave my secure world and hand over the control especially as my hubbie was in bed with a migraine and one of my children showed me a new bizarre rash just as I was driving them to be looked after by a friend. ( there is no school on a Wednesday in France )
The wedding was a couple who live in England who had fallen in love with this area and everyone they met here. They had a vision of their wedding here and made it happen.
I was very honoured to work with such a professional team and even more honoured to be able to call them my friends.
In the evening all us workers were invited to the party which was great fun and we danced til the wee hours in the morning to a fantastic, very funny group called Les Frère André http://www.info-groupe.com/lesfreresandre/
Its taught me that I can do things on my own and my children and husband can too and it has just energised me. It has reminded me to remember my own needs too, guilt free.

The Big Light

The big light has gone on.
When I first started blogging it was because it is a requirement needed to graduate as a certified coach for ICA. I saw it as a challenge and believe me it was. Now though, I am starting to see it as a pleasure and even as my something creative which I have been looking for for a while.
I am starting to get it.
I am learning a lot about myself through my blog but also through others blogs too.
I feel proud and would like to make this blog better and better for me and for others.
As I have already said I love feedback, and your comments are greatly appreciated, its a lovely way to connect with people and share something you would not normally share.
My next challenge is to make my blog more visual in a style that suits me and to post regularily.
What about? I ask myself often but its getting easier and it is definately helping me to reflect more.

Certitude

This post is inspired from Julie, mon amies blog (in French listed on the right)
She talked about certitude and how people being certain is not something she sees as good where as thats exactly what I was wishing for yesterday when I wrote 'choices'. So thank you Julie as I was able to reframe what I had been feeling and realise that its good that I am not certain over everything. Thats leaves me open and free to learn from others.
Merci Julie - ça m'a parlé tres fort et j'ai bein reflechis apres.

Choices

I am being faced with choices over and over again to do with illnesses and how to treat them and I am not ashamed to say I am finding it very hard. When I was diagnosed with cancer I was told how it was to be treated like this and I never questioned a thing and did what I was told and took what I was given. Nothing less, nothing more. Now 10 years later I am not sure it is so simple for everyone and I don't think it would as simple for me either. There are so many paths to take now and so many belief systems ( I am sure there probably always were but now with the internet etc we have access to so much more information) My son is ill at the moment with scarlet fever we think and after one set of antibiotics he has once again a bright red throat. So the questions begin. Antibiotics again? Homeopathic medicine, reflexology and so I could go on.
One certain is LOVE and after that I must make my choice and stand by it, believe I know what is best for my son. I certainly feel tested but we will get there and he will be better soon. I definately believe in positive thinking.

Action v's Delay

Action creates results


What is delaying you from taking action? Is it Fear?

How do we live the life we want to live?

I have even heard people say they are not sure what their goals are.

So one of the most important parts of coaching is to find the clients goal and then get them into action


What is it you want to achieve?

How are you going to get there?

Both good questions and both sometimes quite difficult to answer.

Here is a question we were asked in our course which you will see can make some of us feel uncomfortable but it can get results.

Lets pretend for just this exercise that you have been told you are going to die in one year's time.Write down how you would change your life right now. This was my answer.

Its very difficult to be flippant when you have 2 children and have not got a lot of money. I have also had cancer and lost my sister in law who was given this prognosis. So I have to really go away from that and also pretend money is no object. I know I would want to reassure family and friends around me and be as honest as possible. I would want to leave everyone feeling very able to live on happy. I would travel with my family, husband and kids to visit relatives and friends. I would make sure we had our own independence and space. In between being with them we would visit places just the 4 of us. I would want a year really thinking of us 4 but I would never stop helping people who care around me.

What actions have you been delaying that you could do now towards making your dream come true?
Improve my house so we could rent it out while travelling -therefore generating money.

What action steps can I take to make that happen.

Continue sanding down the floor in the kids room and treating it after. I had a goal of 1 floorboard per day but I am doing about 5 a day. 15 down 30 more to go. Thats only 6 more days. Watch this space for the photo.

Then the skirting boards, then the walls, then the ceiling, buy boxes for organising toys then pick another room. Yeah we are going around the world one day.

Short term v’s long term. Results are in the future so you may have to go through some difficult times in the present for the future to have the results.

So I guess what I am saying is DREAM A LITTLE- don't delay, take some action, believe and you can make your dreams come true. Me too.

My Coaching Niche??

I have been reflecting for a year now as to what niche to choose. At first I just thought I could just be a 'life coach' but apparently the way to go is to specialise. Now I agree and you would'nt believe the different types of coaches that exist. I shall list a few : Divorce coach, debt free coach, wellness coach, spiritual coach, business coach, dating coach, weight loss coach to name a few.
I have had various ideas, parent coach, expat coach, energy coach, retirement coach but the one idea I keep coming back to and the one I feel the most passion about, is helping people who have got or had cancer or another serious illness. I would also like to help the partners, family, parents and friends of people dealing with a loved one who is ill. I have had experience from both sides after having cancer myself and losing my sister in law to cancer and that is where my passion and understanding comes from. I have been making excuses an awful lot that I am not well enought qualified etc. I hope to get over those obstacles I am putting upon myself, by doing my 2000 word research paper required to graduate with ICA on where a life coach can help patients best, at what stage and how could I be most useful. I intend to do a questionnaire to MacMillan nurses and the equivalent to get some feedback. I do also want to look into doing a councelling course it is such a serious subject I want to be as good as possible. Then there's the question of what I call myself. Cancer coach just does'nt sound right so any ideas would be appreciated.

Celebration

I have been celebrating my Birthday.

I usually prefer celebrating other peoples birthdays but this year I loved MINE.

My husband organised a surprise party for the night before my Birthday for 50 of my friends (including children).

It was brilliant and look what they got me, by Susan Holland, a local artist who came too. I had admired it for a while so was chuffed to bits. Such a lovely memory to have of the night and all my friends.

I have been learning how important it is to celebrate not just big events like Birthdays but little events too. When we celebrate the little things it makes us realise how well we are doing and how good life is. We can celebrate in lots of different ways too.

what can you celebrate more and how can you do it??

I am off for a cup of tea to celebrate that I am keeping up blogging once week.

Living in the moment

Now is the only time that exists
There is no past and no present, only the moment we are in,
Live for the moment
The power of now - Eckhart Tolle
Focus on the here and now if you want to live life to the full

I am hearing it everywhere at the moment
I must admit I am finding it a bit difficult so I would like to put in in plain English as I understand it so far.

"Living in the moment is not exactly that, but more that we don't let our past experiences, or our plans for the future effect what we are doing at this moment in time.

I think my son had an in the moment experience yesterday. He and I just shared a real 'in joke' and were laughing with each other and then he said "I thought I was dead then until I thought about that we are going to a party this afternoon and everything went back to before"

So I am trying to keep this simple for now but it is something I would like to keep coming back to as they really are the buzz words around me at the moment.

So I invite you to be mindfully aware of one job a day. It could be folding the clothes, making a cup of coffee, brushing your teeth. Try to concentrate just on what you are doing and don't let your mind wander. If a thought comes just accept it and let it go. How does it feel?

I will practice also - I too would like to accept myself better without judgement, feel more engaged, relaxed and in control of my life.